Parashat Toledot recounts two central episodes in Jacob’s and Esau’s relationship: the sale of the birthright and theft of the blessings. In the first, Jacob exploits Esau’s exhaustion on returning from the field to purchase his birthright for lentil stew. In the second, Rebekah hears that Isaac will bless Esau and tells Jacob to impersonate him and obtain the blessings. Jacob fears the deception may bring a curse instead, but Rebekah insists: “Upon me be thy curse, my son” (Genesis 27:13).

What does the Torah think? Does it deem his conduct proper?

Parashat Vayishlach apparently contains several hints that the Torah itself disapproves of both buying primogeniture for lentil stew and stealing his father’s blessings.

Jacob is clearly punished measure for measure. Having deceived, he finds himself surrounded by deceivers: first Laban, later his sons. Laban’s “It is not so done in our place, to give the younger before the first-born” (Genesis 29:26) echoes Jacob’s conduct: I do not know your customs, but here the firstborn takes precedence. Jacob deceived his father with young goats’ skins on his arms; eventually his sons deceived him with Joseph’s tunic dipped in a he-goat’s blood: “Joseph is without doubt torn in pieces” (Genesis 37:33).

Some would argue that Jacob acted properly: a transgression for a worthy purpose, fulfilling divine destiny though exacting a heavy price. The Torah presents a different picture: his acts were improper and failed to achieve their purpose. Later he recognized his mistake and sought correction. I will establish this through five points.

1. The Torah ignores Rebekah in Jacob’s return to Canaan

Rebekah planned a brief stay, “a few days,” with Laban until Esau’s anger abated, then to summon Jacob back (Genesis 27:43–45). We would expect her mention in his return, since she sent him to Haran. Surprisingly she is absent. The Torah describes Deborah her nurse’s death (Genesis 35:8), yet says nothing of Rebekah. Why?

The omission seems to hint that before returning Jacob changed, distancing himself from Rebekah, Laban’s sister, and her dishonest guidance. He returned to Isaac instead of Rebekah. Her omission fulfilled “Upon me be thy curse, my son” (see “Why Does the Torah Ignore Rebekah?”).

2. The sons’ order at Isaac’s burial

Abraham’s burial says: “And Isaac and Ishmael his sons buried him” (Genesis 25:9). Younger Isaac precedes Ishmael as the mistress Sarah’s son. Isaac’s burial, however, says: “and Esau and Jacob his sons buried him” (Genesis 35:29). Esau precedes Jacob, emphasizing that despite the sale and stolen blessings, Esau remains firstborn, acknowledged even by Jacob.

3. The kings’ list at the parasha’s end

Vayishlach ends with Edom’s kings, reigning “before there reigned any king over the children of Israel” (Genesis 36:31–39). This emphasizes Esau’s primogeniture: his kings’ dynasty arose long before Israel developed kingship.

4. Jacob’s deference to Esau

Before and during their meeting, Jacob humbles himself before his brother, sending a gift, calling him “my lord” and himself “thy servant.” Under the Sages’ influence we habitually assume every gesture was merely intended to escape Esau’s anger, containing no sincerity.

Yet Jacob initiated this unnecessary meeting, sending messengers all the way to distant Seir to announce his return (Genesis 32:4).

He also calls Esau “my lord” privately when instructing his messengers: “Thus shall ye say unto my lord Esau” (Genesis 32:5), before learning that Esau approaches with four hundred men, apparently for war.

5. Fulfilling the vow made on departing for Haran

When leaving, Jacob vowed:

If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the LORD be my God, and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God’s house; and of all that Thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto Thee. (Genesis 28:20–22)

אִם יִהְיֶה אֱלֹהִים עִמָּדִי, וּשְׁמָרַנִי בַּדֶּרֶךְ הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי הוֹלֵךְ,
וְנָתַן לִי לֶחֶם לֶאֱכֹל וּבֶגֶד לִלְבֹּשׁ,
וְשַׁבְתִּי בְשָׁלוֹם אֶל בֵּית אָבִי – וְהָיָה ה' לִי לֵאלֹהִים.
וְהָאֶבֶן הַזֹּאת אֲשֶׁר שַׂמְתִּי מַצֵּבָה – יִהְיֶה בֵּית אֱלֹהִים,
וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר תִּתֶּן לִי – עַשֵּׂר אֲעַשְּׂרֶנּוּ לָךְ. (בראשית כ"ח, כ-כב)

Returning to Beth-el, he indeed erected a pillar, but where did he tithe?

The surprising answer is that the gift sent to Esau was his tithe! He told Esau: “therefore receive my present at my hand; forasmuch as I have seen thy face, as one seeth the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me” (Genesis 33:10). “As one seeth the face of God” makes giving Esau the present equivalent to giving God. If Esau accepts, Jacob can fulfill his vow.

His language recalls the vow. Addressing Esau, he says:

Take, I pray thee, my gift that is brought to thee; because God hath dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.’ And he urged him, and he took it. (Genesis 33:11)

קַח נָא אֶת בִּרְכָתִי אֲשֶׁר הֻבָאת לָךְ, כִי חַנַּנִי אֱלֹהִים וְכִי יֶשׁ לִי כֹל. (בראשית ל"ג, יא)

This recalls the vow:

and of all that Thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto Thee. (Genesis 28:22)

וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר תִּתֶּן לִי – עַשֵּׂר אֲעַשְּׂרֶנּוּ לָךְ (בראשית כ"ח, כב)

Moreover, “my blessing,” birkhati, rather than “my present,” minḥati, hints at Jacob’s admission that the blessing fraudulently obtained from his father belongs to Esau (Abarbanel). JPS renders birkhati as “my gift” in Genesis 33:11, obscuring this wordplay.

But how can giving Esau the present fulfill a vow to give the LORD a tenth of everything?

Tithes are given to people, rather than directly to God. Abraham, for example, tithed to Melchizedek king of Salem after defeating the four kings (Genesis 14:20). Esau is not said to function as priest, but in early periods the firstborn may have served that role within families. Thus his firstborn office and status, even if undeserved, meant giving him the tithe fulfilled the vow’s second part.

Nevertheless, firstborn status does not necessarily make Esau the chosen son. Other fraternal models are possible: both sons may jointly continue their father, or the younger lead, as Jacob’s crossing his hands over Manasseh and Ephraim expresses (Genesis 48:14).

Ultimately Jacob continued Abraham’s heritage while Esau was rejected. But this resulted from the brothers’ conduct, rather than their family positions.