In one public appearance, Yair Lapid offered an explanation of “that thy days may be long” in the Ten Commandments (Deuteronomy 5:16):
If you honor your father and mother, will five years be added to your life? Three years? Is there a table? No! It means your days will extend, not forward but backward.
אם אתה מכבד את אביך ואת אימך, אז יוסיפו לך חמש שנים? שלוש שנים? יש טבלה? לא! הכוונה היא שימיך יאריכון – לא קדימה אלא אחורה.
If you honor your parents, their lives become incorporated in yours, and your life “extends” beyond your own lifetime backward to theirs.
I am not convinced this is the verse’s plain meaning, but agree that the Torah does not promise extra years to an individual who honors parents.
Despite singular wording, the Ten Commandments are a covenant between the LORD and His people rather than an individual and his God. “I am the LORD thy God, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt” (Deuteronomy 5:6) refers to the people, not the individual.
The command to honor parents, with its promise of long life, stands at the seam between the opening commandments concerning human relations with God and the final commandments concerning relations between people.
Ibn Ezra, on Exodus’ parallel (Exodus 20:12, conventional English numbering), explains long life on the land nationally: “For when Israel observes this commandment, they will not be exiled from it.” Accordingly, if we wish as a people and society to thrive and endure on the land the LORD gave us, we must maintain a moral society founded on the Ten Commandments’ principles.
The Torah repeats this message, setting against it a stark alternative: national destruction. For example:
I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that ye shall soon utterly perish from off the land whereunto ye go over the Jordan to possess it; ye shall not prolong your days upon it, but shall utterly be destroyed. (Deuteronomy 4:26)
הַעִידֹתִי בָכֶם הַיּוֹם אֶת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְאֶת הָאָרֶץ, כִּי אָבֹד תֹּאבֵדוּן מַהֵר – מֵעַל הָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר אַתֶּם עֹבְרִים אֶת הַיַּרְדֵּן שָׁמָּה לְרִשְׁתָּהּ. לֹא תַאֲרִיכֻן יָמִים עָלֶיהָ – כִּי הִשָּׁמֵד תִּשָּׁמֵדוּן. (דברים ד', כו)
The message is clear: Israel must not live with a sense that its national existence in the Land of Israel is guaranteed. It must constantly remember that its existence depends on its conduct.
